Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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