I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
