1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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