shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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