that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
