I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
