Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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