oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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