I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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