Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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