i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
