The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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