I've blown a few things in my day
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We need to get me chipped asap
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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