Already got asked if we're dating
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
