did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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