thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
