So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
