The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
