I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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