His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
