OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
