But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
