Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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