I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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