She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
