We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I can't trust your balls anymore.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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