Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
