You made me cry and you don't even care
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
