At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So squirting runs in the family.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
