I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
