I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
