I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
