Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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