I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
sex in a hospital.. check
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
