just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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