I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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