Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
