dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
