i was rollin on her like bob the builder
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
