New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
