Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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