How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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