No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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