Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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