clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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