don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
