if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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