Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
