mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
