the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
