Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
